I've had an alright week. Better than all the other weeks this fall combined. I got the will do actually do things back. I started reading, I played games, I tried sorting Sims out, I watched things. It lasted a week and now I'm back to what's now normal for me. I cry all the time and I don't feel like doing anything. Nothing is fun and nothing is worth it and all I want to do is quit life. The only thing that's currently stopping me from doing so is my dad's birthday party tomorrow night. Don't want to ruin that. His actual birthday is on Tuesday and soon it'll be Christmas and I don't want to ruin that either for anyone so sometime after Tuesday is best, I think. I don't even know why I'm postponing it - I'm only hurting myself by still being here. I just want it to end. I hate my life, I hate everything about it and I've always done that but it's different now. I've always had people or something to look forward to but I don't have that anymore because no one fucking cares and I'm sick of it. Should just go ahead and do it really but I can't be bothered. I'm too upset/depressed/whatever to actually go through with it.
I've sent texts to the usual people but my guess is that they either won't answer or they'll just ignore me and I'll sit here crying until...I don't know. It never stops.
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